Stop the Drama - Part 3

(a blog series on stopping the drama through living through the power of Christ’s forgiveness in relationships).

First, we found in the last few posts we found that we are part of the drama. Second, When it comes to drama, we cannot live with continual conflict between relationships and honor God. Drama is usually started with a desire to be right and make others look wrong. The fastest way to start drama is to gossip. 

What is gossip? It can also be defined as talk or writing about another person or situation with desire or intention to hurt them. Gossip can be the truth or a lie. Gossip literally means, "to whisper."

Why do people gossip?

- Pride (building yourself up while making others look bad) - Bitterness, anger (“vent” to make themselves feel better) - Lower self-esteem - Jealousy - Influence of peers - Must "be-in-the-know"

How to stop the drama? 

(3) Talk to the person and quit talking about the person. If families simply followed this statement, there would be more harmony and love.  Gossip betrays relationships. If they talk about others, they probably talk about you. Proverbs 18:8 says, "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts." Gossip reveals the true nature of a person’s heart. If you have a barrier between you and another person, quit talking about them and go talk to them about it.

Parents, either you Influence your children to stop drama or start drama. If you stand by and allow one person to slander another, are you guilty just as well? Character assassination happens when slander is accepted. We will all at certain times be hurt deeply by others, even close friends. If you do not learn to answer the bitterness with forgiveness it can take over your life! We live in a world that celebrates tearing down others to make yourself look good. Are we teaching this verse in the home, “Love keeps no record of wrongs” 1 Corinthians 13:5. Forgiveness forgets but bitterness keeps a detailed list.

Matthew 18, 6:14-15, and Luke 6:45 are one of the most ignored scriptures in all of the Bible.

Jesus said," “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses." Matthew 18:15-16

 Jesus said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" Matthew 6:14,15.

Jesus said, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." Luke 6:45 (NLT)

A lot of drama would be resolved if we simply obeyed Jesus.Without forgiveness it leads to a cycle of revenge that consumes our lives. Gossip is the enemy of building trust in relationships.

Overall, our goal should be to be peacemakers. Hebrews 12:14-15, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Stop the Drama - Part 2

(a blog series on stopping the drama through living through the power of Christ's forgiveness in relationships.

When it comes to drama, we cannot live with continual conflict between relationships and honor God. 

First we have to realize we are part of the problem and admit it. Denial is a killer when it comes to stopping the drama. If we admit we are a part of the problem, how do we begin resolving conflict between relationships?

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9

How to stop the drama?

(2) Ask for forgiveness to those who you have hurt. Asking forgiveness is not natural. It is natural to be prideful. We think we are right. We think we do not need anyone because we are all sufficient. The definition of forgiveness in the Word Study Dictionary states, “To loose, loosen what is fast, bound, meaning to unbind, untie.” In the realm of life dealing with tough situations and relationships, our belief in forgiveness will be tested.

Jesus said, “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." Matthew 5:23-24.

Jesus said, “You’ve heard that the law of Moses [what we know now as the Old Testament] love your neighbor and hate your enemy. Then Jesus comes along. But I say love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you.”  Matt. 5:43-44

If we do not forgive others, our worship is hindered. God views us through how we treat other people. If we harbor bitterness it affects our worship. Instead of worshipping God with pure hearts we idolize our rights in order to be "right." Forgiveness is more than a momentary choice in time, but a lifestyle of releasing people and situations to God. A great question to ask is, "how can I please and honor Jesus in this situation?"

As followers of Christ, our goal should be peacemaking. We should pray for those who are our enemies. Why? Obedience to Jesus. A person who learns to life outside of drama says, "I will give forgiveness to those who have hurt me and I will ask for forgiveness for any hurts I’ve  done to others."

Stop the Drama - Part 1

(a blog series on stopping the drama through living through the power of Christ's forgiveness in relationships). Drama, drama, drama! I hear it from students, parents, family, the news, Facebook, twitter, and more! Drama is a multi-million dollar business.  Watch TV for a few minutes and you will agree.

One of my students asked the question, "Why did God create drama?" I thought it was a good and insightful question. First, God did not create drama. He created a perfect, harmonious world with perfect relationships. It all crumbled when drama entered the story when Adam and Eve decided to disobey God in the Garden of Eden. Sin entered the world and drama quickly became the movie trailer for Cain and Abel and their descendants.

“It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” Proverbs 20:3 (NIV)

How do we stop the drama?

(1) Admit that you start drama. A lot of people, including myself are quick to point the finger. What I find amusing about drama is that we get upset with other people's drama. But, we never realize that we are living off of our own drama! I hear the statement a lot, "they are a drama queen" or "all they do is thrive on drama!" Honestly, we all struggle with drama. Some have different levels than others, but we all have the sinful nature. The irony of people pointing out the drama-starting in others is the fact they are gossiping. Admit you are a part of it and stop blaming others for your lack of self-control. Quick tip: You might want to stop writing on Facebook/twitter about how everyone else is wrong. We all struggle, no person is without blame on starting drama.

We should always ask the question, "What does God's Word say about it?"

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

Family minute: Parents are you raising up or just supporting your family? Students learn by what is taught By example rather than the false statement, “do as I say, not as I do." Parents need to set the spiritual direction in the home, especially in dealing with drama. Do you teach your family to forgive those who hurt you? Do you teach your family to get even? The family is the greatest example of learning how to stop the drama!

Who are you constantly starting drama with in your life? Are you are peacemaker or an instigator?