Defeating Two types of Porn

I'm stepping out into new territory into the land of controversy. I've written about visual pornography in a post titled, "How to defeat pornography." Most everyone would agree that visual pornography is a serious issue in today's culture. Today, I'm going to bring up another aspect of pornography. The emotional type. I ask you to have an open mind and think through the implications of both types of pornography. Two types of pornography:

Visual Porn (fantasizing for sexual fulfillment). Physical or visual pornography are setting up relationships to struggle and possibly fail. Why? Because physical porn places unrealistic expectations and twisted, satanic perversion upon others. Without knowing it, many men apply what they have seen to their wives and the result is a damaged marriage and sometimes divorce. To read more about defeating visual pornography, go here.

Emotional Pornography  (fantasizing for emotional fulfillment): Yes, I said it. We talk a lot about physical or visual porn, what about the mind and heart? The obsession of romance is overabundant in today's culture. Love is defined as fantasy driven. The perfect guy makes the girl happy at any cost no matter how the girl acts. Emotional porn craves any emotional high from a movie or experience.

For example, most of the biggest box office movies are chick flicks. If you notice, most of the movies involve premarital sex as "love" and portray a perfectly "in tune with the emotions" guy who comes and saves the day. Now, there are some good ones out there but a majority are simply emotional porn. Twilight is a good example of love gone wrong. I do not understand the lure of a vampire or a werewolf being attractive or romantic? One wants to drink your blood and the other will eat you? How is that sweet and romantic? ( ; Now, I am stepping into dangerous territory by having this opinion. What happens when women place unrealistic expectations and twisted "stalker like" passion over a movie character or book novel? It can affect the relationship with a spouse. It creates a frustration of perfection and comparison.

Emotional porn sets up relationships to struggle and possibly fail. Why? Because emotions play a vital role in a relationship. If you are like me, if I watch a show, my emotions easily lead me astray. The person who is guilty is portrayed as "right" in the situation. Without knowing it, I'm cheering for the person who has committed the crime!  Love is about commitment to the long haul, not momentary emotions and feelings!

 Here is my question. If visual porn is obviously damaging and perverted, then why is it acceptable for women to fantasize and make sexual comments about a movie character, athlete or book novel? Have we made the statement, "I wish my husband was like this guy!" Ladies, instead of nagging and beating him down, affirm the positive in his life. Let him know that you are committed to him and be grateful for what he does instead of comparing him to an unrealistic movie or novel. Encouragement will create more of a desire to be romantic and pursue the relationship!

The most important aspect of a marriage relationship is to be trustworthy, loyal and committed. What I am not saying is that a movie, book or mistake is what will damage a relationship forever. But, a continual filling of emotional or physical porn is the goal of Satan to destroy your marriage and mine by creating unrealistic expectations. Jesus is the only way that we can "complete" us. Fulfillment and purpose is built on the foundation of a growing relationship with Christ. Marriage is God's idea. It is a journey to learn to study each other and become experts at showing love and commitment to each other. Let's stand firm on not letting anything or anyone take the place of the covenant marriage relationship.

What are your thoughts? Is visual porn and emotional porn both worthy of discussing? I'd like to hear from you! 

Jesus > Religion

Jeff Bethke has shared another great video that is powerful and filled with convicting truth. He posted this video a few days ago and already it has over 6 million views. Many people are still mixed up about Jesus. Following Jesus is a relationship not a religion! My prayer is that we understand the gospel is not earned by good deeds but only through Jesus' payment of sin on the cross. My prayer is that true Christianity will shine through the facade of religious ritual and man-centered theology. Great job Jeff!

"Now let me clarify: I love the church; I love the Bible, and, yes, I believe in sin. But if Jesus came to your church, would they actually let Him in?" Bethke asks in his video message.

Stop the Drama - Part 1

(a blog series on stopping the drama through living through the power of Christ's forgiveness in relationships). Drama, drama, drama! I hear it from students, parents, family, the news, Facebook, twitter, and more! Drama is a multi-million dollar business.  Watch TV for a few minutes and you will agree.

One of my students asked the question, "Why did God create drama?" I thought it was a good and insightful question. First, God did not create drama. He created a perfect, harmonious world with perfect relationships. It all crumbled when drama entered the story when Adam and Eve decided to disobey God in the Garden of Eden. Sin entered the world and drama quickly became the movie trailer for Cain and Abel and their descendants.

“It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” Proverbs 20:3 (NIV)

How do we stop the drama?

(1) Admit that you start drama. A lot of people, including myself are quick to point the finger. What I find amusing about drama is that we get upset with other people's drama. But, we never realize that we are living off of our own drama! I hear the statement a lot, "they are a drama queen" or "all they do is thrive on drama!" Honestly, we all struggle with drama. Some have different levels than others, but we all have the sinful nature. The irony of people pointing out the drama-starting in others is the fact they are gossiping. Admit you are a part of it and stop blaming others for your lack of self-control. Quick tip: You might want to stop writing on Facebook/twitter about how everyone else is wrong. We all struggle, no person is without blame on starting drama.

We should always ask the question, "What does God's Word say about it?"

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

Family minute: Parents are you raising up or just supporting your family? Students learn by what is taught By example rather than the false statement, “do as I say, not as I do." Parents need to set the spiritual direction in the home, especially in dealing with drama. Do you teach your family to forgive those who hurt you? Do you teach your family to get even? The family is the greatest example of learning how to stop the drama!

Who are you constantly starting drama with in your life? Are you are peacemaker or an instigator?