Source SM Recap: Volume #54

Series: Home Improvement Week 1: “Communicate and Listen” The Word: Ephesians 4:24-29, Proverbs 12:18 Main Thought: The relationship is more important than winning the argument

We all have families that are unique and even dysfunctional right? Today, we are going to identify the importance of communication within the home.

Recap: Last week we learned that HONOR opens the door to relationship with our parents!

This week, the main thought is winning the relationship is more important than winning the argument. One of the important aspects of fighting FOR the relationship with our families is how we communicate.

How do we learn to communicate God’s way?

1. Surrender the right to be right.

Ephesians 4:24“Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.”

As a Christ-follower, we have a new nature. Our goal is to become more like Jesus. This is what it means to be “righteous” and “holy.” This verse is talking about being set apart for God and in a right relationship with God. This means that we should show our family this new person that we are in Christ.

2. Live truth by your words and actions.

Ephesians 4:25-28: So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 

What are the different ways to lie?

- Calling in sick when we are not sick. - Flattering other people. Flattery means insincere praise. - Half-truths—not telling the whole story. - Exaggeration—adding extra to the story. - Cheating on a test…do you want that doctor standing over you with a scalpel that has cheated on all his tests? Satan is the father of lies. When we lie, it is satanic.

²⁶ And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.”Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ for anger gives a foothold to the devil. ²⁸ If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 

Anger is an emotion. God is angry with sin each day. Jesus even became angry in the temple when they turned it into the opposite of what it was meant to be. Jesus never sinned. But, don’t allow your emotions of anger become bitterness. At the end of the day, clear your conscience with those around you.

Social media: Ask yourself the question, “will what I’m about to write be something I regret once the feeling of anger goes away?”

3. Build up others with encouragement

Ephesians 4:29:“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

“Foul or Abusive” is Greek for "sapros" meaning: Bad, rotten, decayed; anything that injures or sparks dissentions of any kind.

Is it wrong just to curse?  Is there more to it than 4-letter words?  It is words that are a part of the “old self” before Jesus. If you struggle with abusive language, remember, “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34. If you don’t like what comes out of your mouth, listen carefully because you clean up from the inside out.

Will the words I say build others up or tear others them down?

Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

The real question is, “do I VALUE my family/relationships enough to show them?” Are we pouring the life of Jesus into others or draining them?

Romans 5:5: “Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Pour out God’s love on those around you, especially your family. We all need home improvement in how we communicate.  Because of Jesus pouring out his life for us on the cross, we can extend His love to others.

Element of Fun: We played a new version of "Family Feud." It was a lot of fun!

Music: You are Good, Your Love Never Fails, Cornerstone, Never Once,

Favorite Moment: Hearing about students sharing in small groups to begin communicating more like Jesus to others. We had three students who began a relationship with Jesus this week!

What’s Next: We finish the series, “Home Improvement” as we talk about the importance of forgiveness in the home.

To watch any of the series messages, check out the vimeo page

Replace Yourself

#3: replace yourself. Student pastors main role is to equip. The key is get out the spotlight all the time. The tendency I had in the beginning is to do everything! I wanted to do it my way, in my time and with my hopeful outcome. What I quickly realized is that I fell on my face in many areas. I would miss basic details. I would be running around trying to make sure everything was "perfect" before the service. I learned to plug people in because I missed the importance of being prepared beforehand so I could focus upon relationships. My desire to have a "top-notch" ministry revealed my pride and that I needed to learn to give away the ministry. Ministry is about pouring into other people and getting out of the spotlight. I know the tendency is to do it the "right way" and what this usually means is to only let a select few touch any part of the ministry. Student ministry is messy. Every leader and church has flaws, struggles and imperfections. If we really think that we have it all together in all areas, we will fail miserably. Once people were plugged into the roles that God created them for, the ministry  grew. In student ministry, we have to learn to not make it about our personality or our personal preferences. It is all about making much of Jesus and pointing all of the praise to Him!

Replacing yourself sounds great, but how do you do it?

• Stop dumping responsibility on people. It is easy to tell someone to do something. Dumping can leave people discouraged because they have no idea how to do it. Dumping is lazy and brash. Dumping bombards people. It creates a lack of communication that burns people out.
• Learn to delegate in a way that empowers them and does not bombard them. Give them insight on how to do the task with follow-up encouragement. Delegation includes knowing how to give direction to people so they can succeed. It creates a feeling of ownership because each person feels that they are making an investment into the ministry.

Ways to replace yourself: 

• Student-led band: Train up students to plan songs that go along with the series. It takes a lot of time and effort, but the reward is an avenue for students to grow in ministry. We have two student bands right now because students are plugging into a place of ministry.
• Prayer team: We pray thirty minutes before the weekly service. It is great hearing students pray for God's spirit to move and change lives.
• Videos/Games: Include leaders and students to come up with ideas to create a welcoming environment. (We do things like "Me-Tube" or "Room Raiders" as a fun way to get to know students and highlight them as part of the icebreakers during the service).
• Welcome team: Include parents and students in creating a welcoming environment to greet and encourage everyone who attends.
• Tech team: Equip students how to run the computers, sound board, and lighting.
• Teaching: Allow others to teach during the weekly gathering of students. It is good to let other leaders share their heart with all of the students. Include students to bring the Word! This past summer, three high school guys shared the message on Wednesday nights!

My goal is to only be up front when I bring the message. The goal is to give away the ministry so that we are raising up leaders who lead in all aspects of the ministry.

Replace yourself. Because it is not about us anyway.