Marriage

Ministry First or Family First?

family.jpg

We all have heard this statement, "family first." I recall hearing it a lot from friends and professors. As the leaders in the home, we are to set the spiritual direction and temperature of the home. In ministry, we spend a lot of time investing in people. Most of the time, if we are honest it is not our family. I tend to keep working, even on my day off. I don't know about you, but I have to make a deliberate effort to prioritize my life. Growing up as a pastor's son, I saw the tug-o-war of ministry and family. A lot of people expected my Dad to be omnipresent! What I learned is that in ministry, it takes intentional decisions to minister to family first.

How do we put family first in this fast paced culture?

First, we need to spend time with Jesus. Growth spiritually is a daily time in prayer and reading God's Word. If we are too busy for spending time with God, we are too busy.

I want to minister to Cassidy more than anyone else. We have to make it a priority or someone will make something else a priority. Now, we don't always go out but we try our best to prioritize our relationship.

If we lose our families because we only invest in others, we will lose our first ministry. I enjoy the time I can spend with Cassidy. As a student pastor, it is easy to say "yes" to everything. But sometimes I have to say "no" so that I can invest in my family.

If we lose our health we will not be able to minister. Exercising and a good night's sleep is what I try to do to stay healthy. If we are too busy to exercise and workout, then we are too busy. As leaders we should set an example in how we take care of ourselves. Take a day off, it is biblical!

My Priorities: 

1. My relationship with Jesus 2. My relationship with Cassidy 3. My relationship with family 4. Ministry

The most important aspect of ministry is to invest in your family. The greatest example of a godly leader is that they invest in their family. You can have all the "success" of a big church or business and totally miss your family.

I'm reminded that my Dad invested in me, my mom and brothers more than anything else. Although he was busy in the ministry, he always made us a priority. He left a lasting imprint because he was more invested in growing us than only growing numbers on Sunday morning. My mom spent countless hours encouraging us and instilling God's truth in our lives. She exemplified the character of a godly wife and mother to me and my brothers. Our families are our first ministry, I pray that we raise up families that will run after Jesus.

Is your family first or your ministry first? What are your thoughts? 

Hot Date Night

Screen-Shot-2011-12-08-at-3.48.59-PM.png

Date night! I remember date night in college when I would take my future wife, Cassidy out on a date. I would try to come up with interesting questions to ask and do my best to plan out every detail to ensure she felt special. I'd try to dress nice and wear some cologne.

Now, after three years of marriage I am not as detailed on dating as I once was. The tendency in marriage is the longer you are married, the quicker we lose the importance of pursuing our spouse. One of the jokes I hear from older couples is that they do not date as much because they "already won over" their spouse!

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD." Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)

What we have to realize is that a relationship needs pursuit! Marriage is God's first institution. If the marriage fails it affects generations. In today's culture more students are growing up in broken homes than ever before. The hurting marriages are affected in the church just as much as in society. More than anything, students want a meaningful relationship with their parents.

In our marriage, we try our best to date each other a priority! We spend a majority of our time trying to invest in others. In ministry, we have to make it a priority to pursue and have fun together. What better way than be spontaneous and go have fun on a date.

One way we are trying to make marriage a priority at our church is to provide a special night out for couples. Many times, we become so busy with life the first relationships that suffer is God and our spouse. We are having a special date night this Friday night. Free childcare is provided and we are encouraging parents to go and spend a great night together. We have a great resource from MarriedLife Online that we are using. It is called "We Marriage" and follows a Wii themed date night.

The goal is to help marriages grow closer together with each other and Christ! If you are married, pursue each other and go out on a hot date!

 

iCHRISTmas Album!

I don't know about you, but I enjoy music. My wife is a singer/songwriter and loves to honor Jesus with it. She diligently writes her own music every week. I am thankful she is using her gifts to bring glory to God (of course, I am biased!) She just finished a Christmas album this past week. iCHRISTmas is an acoustic EP completely recorded on the iPhone 4.

Also, you can download her "New Day" Album on I-Tunes

To go and download it click on the link below!