What is a true friend?

Friends are our, “Amigos, buddies, pals, bros, comrades, and your posse.” God has wired us for friendship. We crave it and hunger for acceptance. Many times we make dumb mistakes just to be accepted and feel like we belong in a group. Friendship is a powerful aspect of life. How do we build true friends? What does a godly friendship look like? Are they just a person we have “fun” with?

“He who walks with the wise grows wise; but a companion of fools suffers harm (Proverbs 13:20 NIV).

"Companion of fools." Your greatest regrets revolve around being with friends.

"Suffers Harm." It is much more about who you are with, than what you are doing.

What does it mean to be a “friend?” A trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory.

• A friend admits when they are wrong and repents. A friend pushes you towards God instead of away.
• A friend is under authority. Humility defines their heart.
• A friend will encourage you even when you fail
• A friend will encourage you to live for Jesus.
• A friend knows you deeply and loves you unconditionally

What is influence? The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others. The people closest to you have access to your heart and mind. Who you surround yourself with has powerful influence over your decisions and future.

If your friends are not very concerned about their lives, they are not going to be concerned about yours. A true friend cares for your soul.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Friends influence us and have the opportunity to make an impact on our lives. Your friends are like the bottoms on an elevator. They will either take you up or take you down.

Blogging Tips 101

When I started blogging, it was not that popular back in 2007. Over the years I have enjoyed figuring out how to blog and become a better writer. I've learned that to become a better communicator always starts with writing and reading more. One of the main reasons I write is to grow as a follower of Christ and as a leader. I learn and grow when I get alone with my Bible, laptop and ideas. Blogging is simply an outlet for me to express my thoughts, prayers, frustrations and ideas on life, ministry and leadership. Below are some tips on blogging. I use different goals and tools to help me post blogs:

Set a goal of how often you will write. I try to write at least 3 blog post per week. I do not always stick to it but I try to keep up a steady stream of writing.

Write about what you are passionate about in life. I typically write blog posts in three categories:

                  1. Culture/Health/Sports                   2. Leadership/Student Ministry                   3. Family/Marriage

Plan your blog posts. I write blog posts ahead of time. No, I do not sit at my laptop every morning and wait for a new idea. Sometimes I do, but most of the time I do not. I save ideas as drafts and write my thoughts out over a few weeks. Once I have finished blog posts I will schedule them to publish ahead of time. Usually it takes about 30 minutes every few days to formulate ideas to write and edit. If you try to blog on the whim, you probably won't stick to it.

I'm a big fan of Wordpress. I prefer Wordpress because it has so many ways to customize your platform. Wordpress is clean and professional.

Use Evernote! I use Evernote to keep a list of ideas in the three categories of writing blog posts. It is a great tool to organize. Because it is cloud based, you can use it on your phone or computer to record an idea.

Be transparent, but some things are not meant for everyone to read. I try to be transparent in my writing, but there are some things off-limits I do not want to write for the world to read. Blogging is a safe place but is not meant to replace a personal journal either. Always have a filter of wisdom in what you write and how you write. Blogs have become a great tool but they can easily be used by cowards to attack others behind the keyboard of a laptop.

Write to grow. I believe everyone has something to write. Why? Because our culture is quickly moving away from the discipline of writing and reading. Over the coming years we will have unbelievable technology but an increasingly lazy learners. I do not want my learning to stop even when I graduated from college and seminary. Why not create a blog and write about your passions to glorify God? We have so many incredible tools in 2012 to be used for the gospel! Write, grow and always learn.

What are your thoughts? What would you add? 

Break the chains of Bitterness

We will all at certain times be hurt deeply by others, even close friends. If you do not learn to answer the bitterness with forgiveness it can take over your life! We live in a world that celebrates bitterness. How are we supposed to understand bitterness? People who are bitter are victims of their own hate. What does God say about living at peace and not bitterness?

Hebrews 12:14-15, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Bitterness is a dangerous root. It is something that is hidden that we can’t see. Bitterness is the root problem that leads to anger, resentment, and hate. It establishes control of our actions, attitudes, emotions and decisions. You are held in bondage to the unresolved hurt.

Bitterness contaminates us by:

• Poisoning our relationships and ourselves. Bitter people are critical and become excited when others hurt.
• Moving us away from God. It erodes the joy in a person’s life.
• Keeping us hostage. Bitterness is one of the main goals of Satan to stop growth in a person’s life. “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:5) but bitterness keeps a detailed list.

What do we do with bitterness? A lot of times we just kick it aside or stuff it away. It is similar to the frustrating  job of removing weeds in the garden. The "quick fix" is to kick over the top of the weed!  It makes it “look” like the weeds are gone, but quickly they come back! Bitterness is a root so we need to dig up!

How to beat bitterness with forgiveness:

-Admit you are bitter Bitter people do not think they are bitter! You might be held down by bitterness against YOURSELF or a failure. Accept God’s forgiveness!

-Release the baggage! (v.15) Ask God to dig deep into the recesses of our soul to remove the bitterness.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" Matthew 6:14,15.

-Replace with the love of Christ - We must make peace with our past if we want freedom.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”. Ephesians 4:31-32

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13

We must see the deep forgiveness and grace of Jesus in our own lives before we can release the bitterness that is keeping us hostage. Who are you bitter against? will you begin to release the bitterness?

We have two choices to make in response to pain in life: 

Go through the door of bitterness that leads to being held hostage

Go through the door of continual forgiveness that leads to freedom