Asking the Right Question

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We all make choices. What will we eat for breakfast? What college will we attend? Who will we date and eventually marry? Will I serve at church or just attend? In student ministry I have the opportunity to lead and encourage students. My desire and goal is to lead them to be fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I am unashamed about leading students to love Jesus more than anything else. More than sports, friends and even their families. If they love Jesus it will result in healthy priorities.

I always encourage my leaders to not simply give advice, but to learn to ask the right question. The art of the question is crucial to dig out the priorities and beliefs of each person  you talk too. Too many times in my past I would simply tell the person what to do. All that I am teaching them is to have the correct behavior. Correct behavior does not always reflect the heart.

Few questions I've been asked:

  • "What is wrong with _____?" A great question to reply with is, "What is right with it?" Principle: Holiness is more important than happiness
  • "I'm just going to church but it is not like I miss all the time." Great reply question is, "Whatever is most important to you, you will do. What is most important for eternity?" Principle: Leadership starts with sacrifice
  • "My Dad/Mom are bad parents, I can't stand them!" A great response question is, "Are you honoring your parents based on their actions or upon God placing them in authority in your life?" Principle: Honor your father and mother.
  • "I like the beat, what's the problem with bad language in the lyrics?" A great response question, "Does the music you listen to bring glory to God?" Principle: What you fill your mind with affects your beliefs.
  • "What is wrong with dating a non-Christian, it is not like they are a "bad" person?" A great response question, "Does they love Jesus?" "If they love Jesus, don't you think they would follow and serve Him?" Principle: The person you marry is the second more important relationship, second to Christ.
  • "I want to make my own mistakes, why do I have to listen, you don't understand?" A great response question is, "Why would you want to go through life making unwise choices on purpose that hurt yourself, God, your family, and future children?" Principle: Choices affect all relationships
  • "I want to serve God, but what if I cannot commit 100% and make mistakes?" A great response question is, "Do you think God expects perfection?" "In the Bible, how many people made mistakes but God still used in a great way? Principle: God's grace is greater than our mistakes, He is never through with us.
Conversations can lead to a deeper level when questions are asked. The questions we ask need to focus on the heart of God. In leadership it is much more about asking the right questions than always having the right answer. If the right question is asked, we are leading students to dive deep into their heart to struggle through the answer. It is teaching long-term decision-making. In student ministry, we are teaching them about life, not just behaviors. Ask the right questions to get to the heart!