How to Defeat Pornography

“Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more." Ephesians 4:19

Pornography. It is a significant problem in today's culture, but many people shy away from talking about it. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. An "industry" that takes advantage of even young girls is a part of this sick, twisted lifestyle. In our media saturated culture, students are at finger tip accessibility to thousands of websites.

Pornography is more accessible than ever before. Before it was only found in magazines. Now, it is easily accessible by cell phones, iPods, and iPads. Mobile tools are being used more than the family computer. Pornography is a fast-paced train picking up steam. Statistics show that it is becoming more out of control. In every past civilization that has failed, sexual sin was one of the main reasons for their demise. "Sexting" is the newest form of pornography. People will send pictures and live video of each other through their cell phones and computers. Girls are sending inappropriate pictures to guys many times because they want attention. Guys are manipulating girls and taking advantage of them for their own sick pleasure. Video games are becoming more and more saturated with pornography. Parents need to be aware of the types of games their students are playing because some of the "M" rated games have traces of porn. Social networking is even becoming more saturated with porn every day.

Sexual perversion is the reason that pornography is demoralizing our culture. Lust and an appetite for more is at the heart of our sinful nature. Men and women are captured in this lifestyle. Pornography desensitizes a person to look at another person to fulfill their sexual appetite and perversion.

How do parents help their students win the battle of pornography?

- Talk to each other about it. I'm amazed at the amount of parents who are afraid to talk about sex, pornography and choices with their children. Trust me, if we are not teaching them a healthy view then they will get an unhealthy view from someone else. Help them understand that our eyes can be the doorway to our heart and because of that we must guard our eyes. When you talk to them about it, never shame or yell at them over it. Use it as a teaching moment and to create a healthy bond to talk about overcoming pornography. It is crucial for the Father to talk to their son about it and the Mother talk to the daughter about it. This will help with the "awkwardness" that will come up. Many students are deceived into thinking that their immorality now won’t cost them later. Here are three verses that we should memorize and meditate upon daily:

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 (NLT)

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT)

“I made a covenant with my eyes to not look lustfully at a girl.” Job 31:1

- Set clear boundaries. One obvious boundary is to not allow your student to have a computer in their bedroom. Let them know that when we look at any unhealthy sexual image, your mind takes a picture of it and stores it in your brain for the rest of your life. The more of these images you allow yourself to see, the more pictures your brain will store away. What you and I see affects how we think and how we will act. Another important boundary is internet access on their mobile phone. I'm amazed at how many parents refuse to admit their child will struggle with it. I encourage you to set boundaries that will protect and encourage them to be pure.

- Keep each other accountable. In order to be accountable, we have to be honest. If a person is struggling with a porn addiction, they need to talk to a friend about it. I'm always trying to find practical resources to help with accountability. Here are my top two resources for defeating pornography addiction.

Covenant eyes. Covenant Eyes offers an internet browser for the iPhone,  iPod touch, and iPad.

Cost is: $8.99 per month for accountability (you choose who your internet report is sent to) and filtering is $4.99 per month. For each additional user is $2.00 per month on accountability and $1.50 for filtering.

X3 watch. It is an accountability tool put out by XXXchurch. It is only $7 per month and is similar to Covenant eyes.

"X3watch is a free accountability software program helping with online integrity. Whenever you access a website that contains inappropriate or pornographic material, the program will record the website, time, and date the site was visited. A person of your choice (an accountability partner) will receive an email containing all inappropriate sites you have visited that week."

In order to defeat the addiction to pornography, drastic measures have to be taken. You cannot simply pray about it and expect immediate change, especially for people who are addicted. When I was a teenager I looked at porn and then began to struggle with it for a few months. Through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I found freedom when I confessed it to God and went to my parents and brothers. I memorized scripture based on this area of my life and through accountability and the power of Jesus, I have been pure. It must be a continual battle and fight! We need to be passionate about surrendering any area of our life to Jesus.

I encourage you to talk to a trusted friend or parent, set clear boundaries and be accountable. Only through the power of Christ can we be pure in today's culture. Wisdom and accountability is needed to be pure in our culture.

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:16

Are we ignoring the elephant in the room? Do we really think that our own students and children are not struggling with the temptation of pornography?

The Courage Shortage

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. 1 Corinthian 16:13 

We are in need of men in leadership to be courageous. It is easy to cower in fear over the troubles and problems that face our world, but we are called to be courageous and not to fear.

Courage "is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. "Physical courage" is courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, death, or threat of death, while "moral courage" is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, or discouragement (dictionary)."

How to have courage as a leader:

1. Clarity – We need to be crystal clear on what it means to be a follower of Christ. We need to understand the purpose of knowing why you live your life. Courage knows exactly what truth is and stands firm. It does not mean we are always right, but we desire to live for Christ. Eternity is the focus. Energy is spent towards people coming to know Christ. Energy is exhausted in pouring into other people to help them grow spiritually. A courageous leader realizes that tradition is not as important as God’s Word. Man-made rules do not matter more than God's Word. Clarity leads to wise decisions that build God's church.

2. Confidence in God’s Call - A courageous leader knows their purpose. We trust God despite our circumstances. Although we might disagree with decisions of others, we are obedient to authority. We know that God is working and we desire to fulfill His calling. A courageous leader spends time in the Word. Listening and praying through decisions. A courageous leader will listen to God's call more than what other people say.

3. Character - Courage builds upon character. Small, everyday decisions builds character. Being a courageous leader can be a lonely road. Honesty leads to openness between people and ultimately builds trust. The courageous leader reflects the love of Christ to others in how they act. Are we caring for our wives and children? Do we care more about the church or do we care about our families and our health? If we lose our families and our health, we lose! Character is vitally important in our homes. Character in our homes will pour out in our public lives.

Men, we need to step up and be courageous in clarity, confidence in God's call and character.

One of the ways that men need to be courageous is in how they treat women. Across the globe, pornography and sex-trafficking are on the rise. Recently a team from our church went to Ethiopia to help with rescuing girls out of the sex-trafficking. I recently watched a video from the Resurgence on this issue. Pornography is a huge industry, even more than sports. We need courageous men to be pure in heart. We need men to admit their struggle with it and repent of it. Pornography is Satan's biggest weapon in our time. If men are cowards in their morals, everything else will crumble. But, when men become courageous and stand for Christ, an awakening will occur!

Watch this video:

Jacob's Story from Unearthed on Vimeo.

Is Facebook the new Myspace?

What do you think? Lately, it seems like Facebook has become filled with spam more than ever before. I remember the days of MySpace. Everyone, especially younger students loved it. To me, it was always hard to navigate through and read. Like MySpace, I think Facebook is losing steam in the social networking battle. Google+ is looking better and better each day, but everyone and their grandmother is on Facebook! My all time favorite is Twitter. Why? Because it is basic. You have 140 characters to write with no "like" button or multiple game invites! Twitter wins the "social networking award" in my opinion. We will see it unfold in the coming years. Second to Twitter, Google+ is next in line to Facebook. Will Facebook die a slow death similar to MySpace? We will see.

Social networking is a great tool. It can be used in great ways. You can share scripture, encouraging comments and more. It is a place to share pictures and videos to family and friends. But, the danger that arises is when we see social networking as the actual way we socially interact. We are in a generation that is connected technologically but disconnected relationally. MySpace lost its relevance when it moved away from the basic premise of social networking. It became lost in its purpose. Facebook is slowly losing its purpose. It has gotten so messy. A thumbnail of a dirty picture was left on my wall from spam this past Saturday! I quickly removed it as fast as a I could! Facebook has become less relevant due to ads, spam and games.

The same is true in our spiritual lives. We become distracted by the things of the world. Before we know it, we have lost our focus upon our main purpose. We need to stay focused upon the basics of glorifying God in our lives.

Let's remember that social networking sites can be used for good. But, authentic relationships are meant to be in person. We were not meant to focus all of our energies looking at a computer screen. Social networks can be helpful in connecting people, but it will never take the place of life on life relationships. I pray that we become more connected to God rather than more "connected" on social networks. I pray we never substitute face to face interaction for a social networking website.

What are your thoughts? I'd like to hear them.