What Every Leader Needs #10: Listen

*A blog series on what every leader needs to be effective in serving Christ* Listen up! I have heard this statement a lot in my life. If you are like me, you might struggle with listening. I might "hear" what is being said but I struggle with truly listening. One of the reasons is that I have a million thoughts flying through my mind and it is hard to throttle it down and listen. Listening it to be active in understanding the words, heart and desires of the person talking. Listening is not thinking of what to say next. My prayer is that God will change me into a better listener so that I can be a better leader for Him. In order to truly love people, we must stop what we are doing and listen. Listening in marriage is a key component for healthy communication. Me and my wife Cassidy learn that we have to put away the "smart" phones, move away from the laptop or TV and give undivided attention to one another. If we begin a bad process of being too "busy" to listen to one another, it will build an unhealthy relationship. The same applies to those in leadership. If people feel that we cannot truly listen to their needs, we will struggle to build close and trusting relationships.

Jesus was great at listening, even as a 12-year-old boy. Jesus surrounded Himself with leaders who would challenge his life (see Luke 2:52). Jesus reveals his desire to grow in wisdom, favor and stature. He wanted to find truth and not settle for the status quo. Listening is a key trait for a leader to learn at a young age in order to soak up wisdom and understanding throughout their life.

Few tips on listening:

- Give eye contact (don't multi-task when someone is talking to you) - Stay focused (don't find a "happy place", listen actively) - Wait for them to finish (don't cut them off, wait, be patient) - Ask questions (Don't assume you know what they mean, clarify by asking) - Respond with them in mind (Always focus on their needs before your needs). - Provide a safe place (Avoid saying, "Well, when I was your age I didn't struggle with that!" or "what you are dealing with is no big deal, just pray, read the Bible, trust God, no big deal.")

The heart of a leader must maintain a steady focus upon listening to God's Spirit to lead. A leader who is " upright" looks at situations with the mind and heart of God.  Leaders are to develop people into devoted followers of Christ. Listening is crucial. Listening is what Jesus did. Listen with grace, love and patience. Every leader needs it, especially me.

What Every Leader Needs #9: Integrity

*A blog series on what every leader needs to be effective in serving Christ* In today’s culture, integrity is a dying characteristic of leadership. In order for leadership to be healthy, the foundation of it must be trust and integrity. Basically, if the walk does not match the talk, a leader will crumble. Integrity means, "possessing a high degree of moral character." Integrity is a hot, spicy leadership word that we all support! Daniel 1:3-20 - Daniel set an example by making the best choices when it came to personal health and his lifestyle. Daniel revealed God's wisdom through focusing his life on obeying God. Daniel's life exemplified character and integrity. Daniel made small decisions that eventually paved the way for God to present a major platform for His glory to be shown to multitudes. I hope to learn from Daniel's example of being counter-culture and having integrity, even when those closest to him go the way of the world.

We need to have integrity in our moral choices, marriage and ministry. Integrity is the safest place for a leader to set up camp. We hear a lot about going out and being adventurous and take chances in order to serve God. You might have heard this at a conference, church or sermon. We have almost taught young leaders that in order to do "great things" for God one must take risks that do not line up with possessing integrity. Integrity is safety because there is no need for us to be watching our back or be worried about being found out. Peace is found through integrity, especially in leadership.  "The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out." Proverbs 10:9 (NIV)

Doing what is right is not always easy. As leaders, we are called to integrity no matter the cost. Why? Because we represent and serve a God that deserves our best.

What about integrity when it comes to writing down church attendance? Is it more important to compete with other churches by "rounding up" the attendance? Small group attendance? (I mean, do pregnant women count as two?)

Do we have integrity in our morals? when it comes to the opposite sex? Do we have clear-cut, strong, unapologetic standards in order to protect our marriage, ministry and life?

The details matter. Holding true to promises, showing up on time, returning phone calls and much more are small ways to build a solid reputation. Those that say details are not important might not put too much stock into integrity.

People will eventually take on the personality, habits and attitudes of leadership. This is the one that keeps me in check. In ministry, people watch more what we do than what we preach or teach.

Integrity will continue to be the most important ingredient of leadership throughout time. Healthy leaders must continually be vigilant to be honest in their daily lives in order to achieve God’s plan for leadership.

What Every Leader Needs #8: Be Mentored

*A blog series on what every leader needs to be effective in serving Christ* Mentor and be mentored. It is a word that we use in leadership talks, training and in books.  No matter our age or experience we all need a mentor that will speak into our lives and help us become better leaders. The need for mentoring is key for a leader to develop. Every leader needs someone to look up to and emulate. Mentoring begins with a trusting relationship between two people. Leaders should continually mentor and be mentored so that they maintain humility and accountability. No leader should ever get to a point in their life that they say, "I don't need a mentor, I will just mentor others because of how much I know!" We always have more to learn! In order to be mentored, one must be humble.

You will at some point need to ask the mentor if they will help you grow as a person and as a leader. John Maxwell says, “You develop credibility with people when you connect with them and show that you genuinely want to help them"(21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership). Jesus exemplified the life of a mentor by pouring into the disciples throughout his ministry. Today’s culture is in need of mentoring that will speak the truth to the difficult situations people face on a daily basis. Building a trusting relationship is important in teaching and practicing mentoring. Unless a mentor has built trust into the relationship, the growth will become stagnate.

The one being mentored must be teachable, humble and be moldable. The mentor must be encouraging, trustworthy and help motivate. Mentoring is a lifestyle of teaching others to grow in their relationship with Christ. Mentors become experts at asking the right questions to draw out the best in the person that is being mentored. Relationships are at the core of mentoring and without it there is no connection at the heart level. People in today’s culture miss out on connecting at the heart level. Mentors need to take the initiative and influence others for Christ. Jesus spent His time with the disciples and multitudes, but spent a majority of time mentoring the disciples at the heart level.

People are looking for a leader who will set an example by living an authentic lifestyle for God. Being authentic must come out of a desire to confide in and be transparent with a trusted mentor.  A mentor must teach and model the truth. Jesus is the definition of truth and through the relationship with the disciples; they became leaders who would change the world with the gospel. Through the disciples making mistakes, Jesus used every chance to help focus them upon learning to become better leaders.

What about you? Do you have a Paul and Timothy in your life? How important is mentoring in leadership?