True Friendship

I don't know about you, but having true friends can be hard to find.  We have all kinds of relationships but at different levels. Sure, we all have people that are our "Facebook friends" or "twitter followers" but I'm talking about friends that are committed to doing life together. I've been blessed to have friends in my life that have impacted me. God created us for relationship! "Friends will determine the direction and quality of our lives (7 Checkpoints)."

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

In today's culture, it seems to me that people are becoming more isolated than ever before. We have more technology than ever before in history but it has become a mask for the real need of face-to-face relationships. What is a true friend? Is it much more than an "acquaintance?" or "facebook friend?"

Ed Young Jr. used an illustration of a swimming pool where many times the shallow end is what makes up a majority of our relationships. We can go through life wearing "relational floaties" and never reach the deep end of friendships.

What does it mean to be a friend? – a trustworthy person you mutually choose to love and to encourage in order to bring God glory. We need Christian friends to survive in a world of isolation. We were not meant to live the Christian life alone! For those of you who have been true friends to me, you know who you are!

How do we understand which friend types to avoid?

• “Take what I can get” friend - Focused upon taking what they can for themselves at any cost.
• “Be happy I’m your friend” - Insecurity leads to conforming to be accepted by the "popular" people.
• “Friends with Benefits” – the more money and toys you have, the more people want to be your friend!
• “OCD: Must-know-everything-psycho” - busy-body who loves to gossip, if they gossip, they are doing the same to you when you aren’t around.
• A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. Proverbs 20:19
• “Must-Do-Everything-Together” - Selfish person who controls you to be together at any cost in such a way that you lose your own personal identity.

If you pick the wrong friends, you will pay for it. “If you sleep with dogs, you are going to get fleas.” Southern Proverb. Paul told the Corinthians, “bad company corrupts good character” 1 Corinthians 15:33.

What does your friendships look like? Are you a friend that pushes people closer to Jesus?

• When a need arises, can you be depended upon to follow through? A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24.
• Friends will stick with you especially when you fail.
• Friends will lift you out of times of crisis.
• A friend will encourage you to live for Jesus. "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

In order to grow in our faith, we must learn how to build Christ-like relationships.

What steps can we take to move our friendship from shallow to real, creating a place of trust and accountability?

Jesus set the example of the ultimate friend, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Does spiritual growth just happen?

Walking with Christ every day is a conscious effort of surrender to His Will. No one becomes a mature follower of Christ by accident. Jesus called His disciples to leave everything and follow Him. The conditions that he set were numerous as they followed Him throughout his earthly ministry. Christ called the disciples to surrender their lives for the sake of the gospel.The first condition of discipleship is self-denial. Jesus called the disciples to drop everything and deny themselves and follow Him. This means for personal devotion to Christ alone.

The second condition of discipleship is renunciation. Christ calls us to put our treasures in Heaven and not upon earth. It is to put away the cares of the world and the greed that consumes the culture. Christ promises to provide all of our needs because He is the provider of everything. The call of God is not partial but one that demands the denial of self and of the love of materialism.

The third condition is to leave everything in order to follow Christ. It is to put Christ in front of the family. It sounds difficult but Christ has called disciples to put Him first and the family second in priority. In order to say “yes” to Jesus, it takes a sincere devotion to making the gospel the center of one’s life. It is not to discount relationships with family, but to place the cause of Christ as the priority for life. It is living with a central focus to put away the cares of the world and replace it with a kingdom focus to see people know Christ.

The fourth condition is to be steadfast. It is to be immovable when it comes to standing for the truth and love of God. A mature disciple will not crumble when the storms of life hit, but will respond with perseverance. Christ called the disciples to hold fast and be bold and courageous. In order to be steadfast, one must be dependent upon the power of the Holy Spirit. Christ has given disciples a yoke that is easy and burden that is light if we trust and obey Him.

The fifth condition of discipleship is fruitfulness.  A disciples goal in life is to bring glory to God. Christ calls disciples to shine the light of love into the world so that their fruit points to the glory of God. A good tree will bear fruit that remains and multiplies. Christ established the condition to set forth laborers into the harvest that would spread the seed of the gospel. The disciples were to reveal their love for God by loving other people. A disciple that remains connected daily with Christ will bear fruit and mature.

The final condition of discipleship is love. God is the definition and action of love. Christ called the disciples to love one another as a family. Instruction was set out from the beginning of Jesus’ earthly ministry to be examples of love to the lost and broken. Jesus came to seek and save the lost through the cross (Luke 19:10). In order for a disciple to grow spiritually, they must deny themselves and obey God’s Word with passion and devotion. When people obey the truth of God’s Word, it changes lives for eternity.

Thoughts on Reaching Others

If we want to impact people’s lives the way Jesus did, it is going to get messy. Jesus dealt with Pharisees, prostitutes and intellectuals. Jesus built relationships by making time for people. Our role in the world is to be “salt and light” in our actions and lifestyle. First, It is important to understand that we don’t need to force the gospel upon people. I have seen many times people make decisions based solely upon emotion and have been fed a “half-gospel” where there is no understanding of following Christ with their whole life. We must do our part of being a student of not only God’s Word but of the culture we live in. Paul did not try to “fix’ people before they came to Christ. Paul’s view on reaching people was, “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.”

Secondly, in order to impact our communities for Christ, we must be willing to engage them in daily conversations. We must be willing to listen to people’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In order to change the way people view the gospel, we need to each individual’s understanding of the gospel. Once we understand their background, we need to be faithful to present the gospel in a clear and relevant way.

Thirdly, we need to realize that we are not able to change people. We are the messengers of the gospel. Let’s just face it; people have a lot of baggage. Because of today’s culture of single family homes, depression,  and moral relativism we need to be willing to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading and keep asking wise questions to bring out people’s “hang-ups” and issues. Once people know that we care about their thoughts and feelings, we will diffuse their frustrations with Christianity and be able to help them see their true state before God.

Lastly, A misconception of evangelism that I have seen is that we must follow a certain evangelistic program in order to share the gospel. I believe it is important for believers to share their faith using their own testimony as the focus. Many times people would follow an outline and it would seem “choreographed” and not real. I am not saying that people shouldn’t follow a clear presentation with points but we must not lose our own personality as we share the truth of Jesus Christ. Dealing with people is tough, but with the power of the Holy Spirit we can see many lives changed by Jesus Christ.