Family

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Leadership Tip: Never Assume

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"Yes, they are going to come and do it" "Of course I told him, he knows what I meant"

"I just figured that they would do it the way that I do it!"

How many times have you assumed something about a person or situation that ended up not being what you assumed? Assumption is the enemy of truth. Many times we make up what we believe in our minds before we discover the truth.

Assumption applied to relationships creates conflict and division. I've learned by trial and error that I have to over-communicate so that both sides of the conversation are clearly understood. Assumption stifles connection and ultimately hurts relationships.

Assumption comes out of negative thoughts. Many times we think that assuming is not a big deal. I have heard that perception is reality. Perception is important but what is most important is the assumption we have of others or of ourselves correct? Are we basing our assumption on what someone else has said about another person or situation? Leaders find the positive in others.

Leaders fight the desire to assume. Never assume people you work with understand what you expect of them. Never assume that a student understands the gospel just because you have shared the gospel with them. Never assume that because you said something to another person that they actually understood what you had to say.

So what do we do?

Communicate His love. A lot. Listen and collaborate. Delegate and follow-up.

Leaders fight the assumption and discover the truth.

What do you think about assumption? What would you add?  

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Stop and Start: Part 3 - Comparison Kills

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A blog series on how families can apply the gospel into their pain and dysfunction.

I was recently listening to a message by John Ortberg on growing spiritually. It made me begin to think that many people spend their life looking around wanting approval from everyone.

The truth is...comparison kills the motivation for spiritual growth. It is normal in today's culture to compare. Comparison creates an empty hole in our heart where we feel like we will never measure up.

So what is the usual response? We stop, throw up our hands up and stifle our growth. It is an epidemic in churches and in families.

What we create is approval factories. Could we be building modern-day pharisees with modern traditions? We have a select group of people who everyone thinks that is untouchable. Are we trying to become the person that others want us to become? Are we building our approval from the wrong people? Are we so committed to "good" things that we are missing out on God's best for us?

In our relationships we have to make decisions:

Stop showing approval based upon the outward appearance. Flattery is based upon outside appearance or ability. God looks at the heart. Avoid building up your friends, children or co-workers based upon what they do but upon who they are. Look into the heart of those around you and ask the question, "how can I lift them up?"

Start encouraging people with the restoring love of Jesus.  In our relationships, we need to be sensitive to loving each other unconditionally. In order to stop living for superficial approval, we must pour out the unchangeable love of Christ. The person God has created us to become must be grounded in His unconditional love. God has created us uniquely for a specific purpose.

What voice are you listening to today? Listen. God's voice is saying, "I am FOR you!" No matter what anyone says, your identity and approval can only be satisfied in a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.

The question is, are we becoming the person that God has called us to become?